The surprising toxic effects of negative self-talk and how to stop it

Sadly the reality for every athlete that comes to see me is that negative, non-performance and non-life enhancing self-talk is part of their everyday life. Consistent negative self-talk can trigger a mind-body connection that feels and is very real - I know this first-hand.

What is negative self-talk?

It can be anything that doesn’t enhance your life or performance, from that critical inner voice telling you you’re not good enough to the voice in the back of your head constantly telling you you’re tired, or unhelpful thoughts after an event or situation not going to plan.

Like most things, In small doses it's OK and normal to have unhelpful thoughts, but when you get stuck thinking in negatives and turn all or most of the information into something negative, you activate a physiological response.

The mind-body connection is still being researched, but there’s definitely signs that negative, non-performance and non-life enhancing self-talk can create physical manifestations.

Here are 12 surprising effects negative self-talk can have on your body:

Limited thinking/Fixed mindset: The more you tell yourself you can't do something, the more you believe it, the more your brain makes it your reality. I have countless testimonials showing this to be true.
Perfectionism: Being ‘great’ is no longer good enough. It has to be perfect, which perfectionists believe is attainable. Feelings of stress, anxiety, guilt and doubt increase, as you strive for perfectionism but never achieve it. Don’t pick your work apart, spend hours on it or pick it apart, go for ‘good enough and feel the difference in mind and body.
Down feelings: Negative self-talk may lead to an exacerbation of down feelings and if left unchecked and unchanged, can be quite damaging - to both your performance and mental health.
Relationship challenges: You might be constantly criticising yourself or doing more down feelings than usual, which often impacts those around you. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
Zero energy: Non-life enhancing self-talk impacts your mood, motivation, drive and energy levels. In the moment, being hard on yourself makes you physically weaker and stops you from truly pushing your limits. But if you get stuck in a feedback loop of ‘I’m tired’ this can create serious health problems, like severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - I’ve been there, got the t-shirt and wouldn’t recommend it, please be kind to yourself. Positive self-talk tips below.
Feel it in your gut: Your brain and gut is connected via the Vagus Nerve, which carries an extensive range of information to/from the digestive system and brain. If your lifestyle and date have stayed the same, but your stomach is in knots, pains, butterflies and/or bathroom issues etc. these problems might be traced back to non-life enhancing self-talk (I can attest to this too.. until I learned how to re-wire my brain, I suffered from doing chronic constipation my whole life).
Trouble focusing: beating yourself up is mentally draining and if the words you’re using are tearing you down, it’s going to distract you from your goal and have you doing feelings (like irritable, sad, bad, fatigue) that make it harder to concentrate and process information.
Not sleeping well: If you’re doing insomnia or trouble sleeping, it can be activated and exacerbated by what you’re saying to yourself during the day (whether you notice it or not) e.g. I’m not going to sleep well, I always wake up in the night, I always take a long time to fall asleep. Your mood and physical are closely related, so if your sleep is impacted, your mood will be too. Ask a professional if you're noticing major changes.
Get sick more easily: Stress and negative thought patterns can really compromise your immune system putting you at risk of illness. If negative self-talk is the main feature of your soundtrack, the more your body will wear down from stress and if you get stuck in a negative feedback look, you can experience more harmful health issues. So if you're wondering whether you’re actually making yourself sick, it's very possible and worth mentioning to a professional and/or looking into further.
Unexplainable Aches And Pains: Being consistently critical about yourself can literally become a "pain in the neck.” Like the other symptoms, pain can be a result of stress brought on by the negative self-talk, but also from getting stuck in a negative feedback of loop of ‘I’m in pain’. If you have headaches, backaches, neck pain, or otherwise tight muscles with no particular physical reason, it can be a sign it’s caused by negative self-talk. It’s worth time and attention to solving these issues with the help of medical and mental health professionals.
Appetite Changes/Body Image: Negative self-talk about how you look creates down feelings and stops you from living your life exactly how you want. It also affects your eating habits and/or hunger levels. And there's a huge number of mental and physical health conditions that cause and can cause these symptoms, so it's always important to ask an expert.
Performance-related: I’ve seen it time and time again, negative self-talk limits all athletes performance - whether they realise what’s going on or not. If you think or believe you’re a slow swimmer, you’ll swim slower than your potential. If you think you’re going to lose, chances are you will. If you think everyone is over-taking you, you’ll slow down or shoot worse. Actions and feelings follow your thoughts, so make sure they’re performance-enhancing at all times in and around training and competing.

How to Minimize Negative Self-Talk

I teach my athletes many ways to stop their non-life and non-performance enhancing self-talk. Different strategies work better for different athletes, so give a few strategies your best shot and notice which ones are most effective for you

Add in Do, Doing, Did or Does

Know that you’re doing this unhelpful response/s unintentionally and unconsciously, you’re not at fault or to blame. It's just something you do and now you’re going to change what you're doing.

Add in ‘do’ to recognise that this thought and physical feeling is just something you’re doing and you can change it. You’re not passive to it anymore, you’re active in its creation and if you’re creating this feeling, it means you can also stop creating this feeling and do something more powerful and positive instead.

By transforming ‘I am feeling [insert feeling here e.g. tired/pain/crushing headache]’ into ‘I’m DOING [insert feeling here e.g. tired/pain/crushing headache]’, you give yourself two things:

1You’re now ACTIVE in doing the feelings - you’ve taken back your power to decide how you want to feel.
Space and time to pause and reflect; if I’m doing [insert feeling here e.g. tired/pain/crushing headache], what would I love to do instead?

Swap negative for positive language

If your inner dialogue sounds more like a competitor giving you smack talk than it does like someone cheering you on, it will have a similar impact on your performance and health, as it would living with your smack-talking competitor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Using powerful, positive and productive language is one of the key tools that transform performances, happiness and health.

To start doing life- and performance-enhancing feelings, ask yourself: What would be really helpful to think and feel instead?

Really go into detail on the positive, powerful feelings and thoughts you’d love to experience. This will activate and strengthen the best life-and performance-enhancing neuropathways, such as confidence, calmness and comfort.

FYI: It’s NOT positive language when you say, ‘I will no longer do crushing headaches’.

This is because your brain doesn’t here ‘no’, it only hears crushing headaches and will therefore still activate and strengthen the neuropathways connected to ‘crushing headaches’, making it easier for your brain to activate the neuropathways and associated physical manifestations associated with crushing headaches.

However, if you consistently say ‘I feel really calm and comfortable in every cell and fibre of my body’, this will activate and strengthen the neuropathways connected to ‘calm and comfort’ and ‘cell and fibre of my body’, making it easier for your brain to activate the neuropathways and associated physical manifestations associated with calmness and comfort.

Examples of positive, powerful, productive language:

I feel energised
I feel light
I am calm and relaxed
I am feeling a wonderful calm energy flow through me
I feel comfortable
I am doing really great
I am getting better and better
I am getting healthier and healthier
I have an amazing clear head

Switch every negative word and sentence for powerful, positive, life- and performance-enhancing thoughts and feeling, and you’ll 10X your performance, health and happiness, and achieve ‘mind-blowing’ results.

Self-awareness

Notice every time when you're doing non-life and non-performance enhancing self-talk so you stop that thought in it’s track and swap it for something life- and performance-enhancing. For example, notice when you say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend or child.

Editing

You are the creator of your own reality, both consciously and unconsciously, and one powerful way your brain does this is by ‘Editing’.

For example, if you’re often repeating to yourself ‘I’m tired’, most likely your brain is highlighting to you all the things that make you tired (no matter how big or small). Your brain will largely ignore all of the things that make you feel energised.

This reinforces your belief that you are really tired, because your brain isn’t showing you anything that contradicts this.

Your reality therefore becomes that you are always tired and this is true, because you can’t really do much as you’re so tired.

However, if you start saying to yourself, ‘I’m getting more and more energised every day’, your brain will start to highlight to you all the evidence that you are getting more energised and healthy every day. Enabling you to create a more positive, life- and performance- enhancing reality.

Hit Pause

My athletes’ most favourite strategy to stopping negative self-talk is to say ‘stop’ or ‘pause’ in a compassionate way. It can also take the form of snapping a rubber band on your wrist, visualizing a stop sign or doing a stop action.

Stop every single thought that is taking you away from living your best life, for example:

I’m apprehensive about cycling
I’m scared I’m going to fail
I’m not good enough
I am tired
I have a crushing headache
I am stressed and anxious
I am really slow
I'll never be able to do this

Now it’s over to you! Let me know how you get on and if you have any questions post them in the comments below!

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