How often has a lack of confidence stopped you from…
Going on an adventure?
Entering a race?
Attending an event where you don’t know anyone?
Throwing yourself into a situation you’re not sure about?
Going for that promotion?
Doing a talk or presentation?
Or doing something awesome?
Have you ever experienced a lack of confidence when on an adventure, training for an event or doing something outside of your comfort zone?
A lack of confidence can plague all areas of our lives. I know I’ve experienced it many times myself!
However, learning how to feel confident in ourselves can change EVERYTHING.
Confidence is when you feel you are up to the task, you have a sense that you know enough! Maybe not everything, but enough! You feel like F*@k!! I‘ve got this!
I believe that confidence is a mental habit that we can develop.
I believe we can retrain our minds to supercharge our confidence whenever we want.
And here’s the kicker… it’s easy to do!
As you may know, last year I became an Ironman and for a moment leading up to it, I doubted myself…
Will I make it? Will I cross the finish line? Will I hear Mike Reilly (the voice of Ironman) shout YOU ARE NOW AN IRONMAN!! Will I get my medal?
I did cross the finish line and using this technique I’m about to share with you, I never doubted myself again and felt really great before and after the Ironman! - although they did pronounce my name wrong!
In the 7 steps below, I show you how I went from self-doubt to turbo charged self-confidence: HELL YEAH! I CAN do this! I am an Ironman!!!
7 Steps To Extraordinary Self-Confidence
Step 1: Recognise a negative trigger
What situation or conversation - with yourself or someone else, normally produces a negative mood for you?
What was the first thing you noticed that triggered this negative feeling?
Acknowledge it ONLY (don’t sit in it) then put it to one side.
For me, I received an email saying 2 weeks until my Ironman Barcelona, which triggered feelings of self-doubt and fear that I may not complete it.
Step 2: Draw a large imaginary circle on the floor in front of you
Standing up, draw a large imaginary circle in front of you and notice what colour your circle is.
Step 3: Recall an experience when you felt an extraordinary amount of self-confidence
It can be in any place; at school, on the sports field, at work, in a relationship, dancing, anything that brings you feelings of extraordinary self-confidence..
Still standing up, close your eyes and get in touch with that time of extraordinary self-confidence, just allow yourself to become more aware of that self-confident feeling.
And as you get in touch with that confidence, notice the things that you can see around you, the smells, sensations, noises, voices in your head, whatever it is…
Feel what it feels like to be in that zone where you think ‘yeah, I can do this’. That confidence.
I look back at some of these moments; when I fully recovered from 4 years of severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, summiting Thorong La Pass, Nepal, (5416m) travelling solo through India, working on an Australian cattle station, riding an ex-Mongol Derby race course across the steppe &cycling 139km with 1372m ascent in 6 hours in a city I’d just moved to.
Step 4: Step this powerful confidence into your circle
When that feeling of self-confidence is really strong, I’d like you to step into your circle with that feeling of self-confidence flowing into it too.
Your circle is now full of self-confidence and as you look down, you may notice that your circle changed to a new colour that’s associated with that self-confidence.
Now you have that feeling of self-confidence in your circle for you. Anytime you want to be in that circle, that self-confidence will be there for you.
I imagine feeling this amazing self-confidence swirling all around me in this gold sparkling colour, filling me up, seeping into every cell and every fibre of my body. I continue to do this and feel these incredible things in my circle until I see myself glowing gold - really get into it and let your imagination run wild!
Step 5: Solidify your extraordinary confidence
For a moment just step out of your circle and then step in again and notice how that extraordinary self-confidence is just there for you, anytime you want it.
Do that enough times so each time you step into your circle, you just know that your self-confidence is there, surrounding you and brilliantly swirling in your circle. Inside is that incredible feeling of self-confidence, just there for you.
Then when you’re happy with that, step out.
I do this a multiple of times until I’m really sure that my self-confidence is there for me, in that circle - like how you’re certain that day follows night or the sun rises in the sky!
Step 6: Recall your negative trigger from Step 1
Imagine you’re coming to your negative trigger, where in the past there would have been trouble.
But, this time, immediately your self-confidence circle appears.
Step into your circle as you go into that situation and notice how it feels coming from this new place of amazing self-confidence.
And how by being this new self-confident you, the whole situation unfolds totally differently.
Feel what it feels like to have these feelings of self-confidence flowing through you.
And everywhere you go this circle appears anytime you need it, just like a spotlight following you around everywhere. The quality of self-confidence is everywhere.
For example, I see the 2-week to Ironman email arriving in my inbox and as soon as I see it, my shining gold circle immediately appears in front of me and I jump into it. Instantly those warm feelings of self-confidence embrace me and gold is swirling all around me.
I feel how it feels to have this extraordinary self-confidence as I see and read the email - I feel super excited and can’t wait for race day!
I know I’ve got this as my circle is following me everywhere I go.
Step 7: Practice makes perfect!
Now we’re going to practice your situation with your new found extraordinary confidence, to really strengthen your neuropathways - as they say, practice makes perfect!
Pour your wonderful colour of self-confidence that fills your circle into your situation and as you see everything turning that amazing colour, feel what it feels like to be self-confident.
Run through your situation from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night, paint everything with this incredible colour.
As you go through your situation, you have the posture of a confident person: your back is straight, shoulders are back, head is held high and you’re smiling.
Notice the sights, smells, sounds and textures of the things around you and that you touch.
How does it feel experiencing all of this, knowing that you’ve got this? That you know enough and have the power to achieve this?
Feel the amazing experience and colour flow into you, filling you up. You are now glowing with this outstanding self-confidence. You feel epic!
I pour the wonderful gold from my circle into each day leading up to and including my Ironman race, feeling what it feels like to be self-confident during this time.
Everything is shimmering with an incredible gold as I run through my race plan and race day.
Each day I get up feeling confident that I can do it. I nail all of my training, nutrition, morning rituals and sleep.
It feels awesome to have this powerful self-confidence with me throughout my entire race and the days leading up to it.
I walk and run with a great, confident posture, those at the gym and my trainer comment how confident I look and how they know I’m going to have an incredible race day.
I know I’ve got this, I know enough and know I have the power to cross the finish line.
On race day I can see and hear the crowds cheering me on, my wetsuit feels great, my transitions are seamless. I feel strong and confident. My gels taste wonderfully sweet. As I come up to the last few kilometres I hear the crowds going wild, the red carpet feels wonderful under my feet, I cross the finish line and as I do my epic photo pose I hear Mike Reilly shout YOU ARE AN IRON MAN!!!!!!!
As I take everything I’ve learnt from this, my colour transforms into a magical rainbow and I pour it though my race day and those days and into me now!
It fills me up and I can feel the self-confidence bubbling irreplaceably inside of me. Ironman Barcelona… here I F*@KING COME!!!!!!!!!!!